Valentine’s Day: Your Relationship Status is Never Complicated with God

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So, it’s Valentine’s Day and you have no significant other to spend it with this year. Your co-workers received deliveries of flowers and edible arrangements while you anticipated the 70% off sale on candy tomorrow. Scrolling down your timeline may have even triggered a lot of emotion as you thumbed through paragraphs of love stories and viewed pictures of all the couples on your friends list. Cue the violins and pass the ice cream girl. I feel you.

I know that navigating through today may have been pretty difficult for those of you who may not have someone to celebrate with, but why do we feel the need to be in a relationship in order to feel loved? Your happiness and well being should never depend on whether or not you receive flowers and candy one day a year. If that’s the case, we’re all doing something wrong here. It’s the heart’s desire to feel all the “feels” on this day, but we have a greater love in our creator. With God, you’ll never have to question your purpose in the relationship. It’s already been written. You won’t ever feel like a side piece or even a snack. Girl, we are full course meals around here!

Because of lack of self-worth and the pressures of social media, we can easily find ourselves in situations that may be compromising in order to feel an ounce of love or what we think love might feel like. With God, you’ll never have to question your actions or see yourself in a compromising situation to receive what He has for you. He loves every inch of you exactly where you are right now in this moment. Now that’s love sis…pure, unadulterated, love. This is the kind of love that you can’t find in man. “This is love: not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.”-1 John 4:10

I need you to know that you are loved and will always be loved by God. He loved you first. His love is everlasting no matter your relationship status. His love is never complicated. Your status with God will never change. Your place in His heart will always be reserved. It’s worth so much more than any reservation you could ever make one day a year. You are a daughter of the king and nothing less. “And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.”1 John 4:16

Rest in believing in these words and know that one day will not remove the lifetime investment of your heart in God’s hands. One day can never define your value to yourself or others. One day will not determine your worth. You are loved. You are enough. You are whole just as you are. No one else can complete you. God already did that when you broke the mold.

Happy Valentine’s day my friend.

xoxo

5 Things to Practice Now That You Are Married

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Photo Credit: Unsplash “Great marriages don’t happen by luck or by accident. They are the result of a consistent investment of time, thoughtfulness, forgiveness, affection, prayer, mutual respect, and a rock-solid commitment between a husband and a wife.” – Dave Willis

Marriage is life changing. Marriage is an adjustment. Marriage is also a beautiful union between a man and a woman. It takes work and patience with someone you vowed a lifetime commitment to. There is so much to learn from each other during that process.

Like many newly weds, I am certain you have and will receive an outpour of advice from both family members and friends, but keeping God at the center of your marriage is primary. My husband and I discussed what we learned in the first year of marriage. I can tell you there was much to learn and much more to take in. We would not exchange this beautiful journey with anything.

Here are five tips you should keep in mind now that you are married.

1. Pray Together, Pray for Each Other.

Prayer is essential in every relationship in life, especially your marriage. “Talking to God about your husband is an act of love”–Stormie Omartian. Praying for your husband helps strengthen a foundation, creates unity and keeps peace in your home. Be specific in your prayer and keep your spouse lifted daily.

2. Respect One Another

“Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband” (Ephesians 5:33 NKJV). Respect is one of the most important aspects for man to have. Study show that being respected is even more important than being loved by their wife.

3. Be Patient With Each Other

Patience is a virtue we all should possess. The two of you have now become one but there are still two different personalities present. Be patient with each other as you both grow in your new season of togetherness. Show grace to one another.

4. Learn Each Other’s Love Language

According to Gary Chapman’s book, The 5 Love Languages, we all have primary love languages that help us connect. A love language tells us how we like to be loved. Knowing your own and your husband’s language of love would help deeper connect with each other.

5. Cultivate and create a loving home.

Your home is your sanctuary. This is a place where a lot of things happen. You live, play and eat here. Make every effort to cultivate and create a home with love. Bless your home and pray God’s protection over it.

Prayer is more than a Christian formality. It’s a gateway to communication with God.

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Prayer:  “A solemn request for help or expression of thanks addressed to God or an object of worship.” – Merriam Webster Dictionary

For many Christians, over the years, praying has become a very monotonous formality that seems to happen at the same time every day using the same exact verbiage each time. Many of us grew up in the church with praying parents or even a praying grandmother that made sure we sent up a few prayers in their presence despite how we felt about it. As adults now, we’ve either given it up all together or dread repeating the same old solemn requests to the man upstairs.

As I’ve transitioned in my faith over the span of my adulthood, I’ve learned that the “Our Father prayer” or the very words that spewed out of my parent’s mouths in my childhood are not the end all be all when it comes to my personal prayer life. I’ve come to learn that prayer is a direct form of communication with God.  He hears our prayers and He hears our cries. He also speaks to us through our prayers. You see, I never thought of it as a means of communication like sending an email or making a phone call to God. I just viewed prayer as something that had to be done as part of the requirements of being saved, sanctified, and Holy Ghost filled along side speaking in tongues, which I remember being taught to do in Sunday school and it still confuses me to this day.

Payphone on the side of a building

Photo Credit: Unsplash

Lines of Communication

The thing with communication is that it’s a two way street. You don’t send out an email to someone without expecting them to respond. You also don’t hold a phone conversation without allowing the other person ample time to speak in response to what you’ve spoken. These same expectations apply when you sit in prayer with the Almighty Father. On top of all of this, allow God the space to give His response. Prayer is not only a time to talk, but a time to listen as well. The Lord knows the desires of our hearts. He knows what our needs are.  We must take the time to sit in silence and listen for His voice. How can you expect to hear from Him if you don’t give yourself a chance to breath and sit in silence?“And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words.”-Matthew 6:7

Listening for God’s voice allows Him to reveal to you his vision and desires for you.  He begins to birth a purpose inside of you that you never could have imagined.  He uncovers the blueprint to reach higher heights and deeper depths in your life and the lives of others.

Pray without ceasing

“Rejoice always, pray without ceasing in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”-1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Praying without ceasing does not mean that you must be on your knees with your eyes closed at all times speaking to God.  It simply means that you are constantly keeping your mind steadfast on Him.  Don’t look at prayer as such a strict or uptight form of speaking to our creator.  Talk to God in actual conversation as you would your father on earth or close friend you’re having coffee with. Involve Him in your everyday practices.  Speak to Him about your struggles. Reveal to Him your innermost thoughts.   Praying without ceasing should be compared to living and breathing.  The two go hand in hand and are necessary for your survival. If ever worry or fear comes upon you, prayer should be the first thing that comes to mind.  When you are thankful, encouraged, or going through a storm, prayer should be constant.

 Prayer can be a small “Thank you Lord,” to a full out session of worship and praise, eyes closed and body bent. Prayer is a way to show that you put all of your trust in God at all times with all situations.  When you pray you are letting God know that you place your life in His hands and that all is well with Him.  When you start to pray less, you begin to put more trust in yourself which can lead you astray.

What does your prayer life look like? Have you Communicated with God lately? He’s patiently waiting for you and excited to hear from you, His child. So, get comfortable and pick up that line of communication today. You’ll be surprised at what you hear on the other end.

Who Do You Think You Are?

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Photo Credits: Unsplash

Before you had any thoughts of who you were, God knew exactly who you were and has already foreseen who you will become. The defining factor(s) of our identity is knowing what God knows and what He says about us in his living word. Knowing what He knows is the first step. Accepting what He says is what we must hold on to. We have a way of hearing God (through His word) and then questioning it. God’s word is true, and we can trust Him at his every word. If we knew who we were, we would behave differently. When I say “behave”, I mean, think, live, and how we treat others. Knowing and trusting the word of God, helps build our confidence in Him which affects our self-confidence. We can find in the bible several scriptures of God admiring who he created us to be.

Before you were even formed in your mother’s womb, God knew you. He knew you were and who you are today. Our God is infinite in all of His ways even if we cannot grasp what He thinks about us. If we look deep enough in scripture, He explicitly and sometimes not as clear, tells who we are to Him. Can I share with you His sentiments?

Look at what it says in 1 Peter 2:9…It tells us who we are:”But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.” -1 Peter 2:9 NKJV

Who are you?

God says that you are chosen. You were chosen by Him. Even before you were in your mother’s womb, you were on the mind of God. Sis, you were chosen and were chosen to do the will of God. You are royal, sis. You are a royal priesthood. If we are his children, then we are heirs of God and joint heirs with Jesus Christ. What else does it say? We are a holy nation. We are called to be set apart. We should be holy because God is holy (1 Peter 1:16) Finally it says in 1 Peter, we are God’s possession. We are His people. We were created in His own image (Genesis 1:27). We must know who we are, but to know who we are, we must know who God is. How do we discover who we are? We discover this by spending time with God and reading his word.”Saturate your mind with the truth of God’s Word. It’s filled with reminders of His unconditional love for you.” – Joyce Meyers

Back to School Praise Playlist

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School is back in session! This semester is also my first time back in school since…well that is besides the point. None the less, I am beyond excited about what God has in store for me this season. School can be a challenging one in itself. Besides a good breakfast, how else can we kickstart our day? Music of course! Can you put a little praise on your day?! Yes you can. On my way to school, I love to play music for my son. He’s only a one year old, but I have noticed that he is in the routine to hear music play (or Sesame Street). Along with a prayer, a short devotional, or whatever your morning routine may be, music enhances our spirits. Specifically, Christian music.

Listening to music centers us, allows us to develop a grateful heart, and brings about peace to our souls. If music enhances those areas in my life, I’m sure my child would also have a positive day. Plus, praise and worship music is kid-friendly! Here’s a dose of uplifting for you. Check out a playlist I created on Spotify for you to clap your hands to (not while driving lol) I also embedded it down below for your convenience. Enjoy!

Rachel

Choosing Forgiveness over Pride

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At some point in your life, you are guaranteed to have your Christian walk tested. It’s all a matter of time because no one is exempt from this thing called life. There are going to be people who disappoint, upset, hurt, deceive, lie, and back stab you. Most times we assume it’s going to be an enemy, but unfortunately, that’s not always the case.

How do you respond when the person who offends you is a close friend? The struggle for me has always been how to forgive while guarding my heart at the same time. The Bible tells us to do both right? How do we really do that though? How do we allow people who have wronged us and really don’t feel they have done anything wrong be close again?

“Above all else guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”

– Proverbs 4:23 NIV

Recently, I dealt with a hurtful situation when I employed a friend of many years. I ended up feeling used and taken advantage of and when I called the person out they turned it around on me. My integrity was questioned when I wouldn’t give them what they wanted. Needless to say, I ended the working relationship swiftly to prevent things from escalating. Once I ended the working relationship, this friend went out of the way to hurt my business. I had enough because my business is how I provide for my family and so I took it personal and got angry and I wanted to get even.

For days I would just sit in silence contemplating on how I could get back at this person because of the hurt and betrayal I was feeling. I was feeling uncertain about my business and about my reputation because who knows what was being said behind my back. I was all up in my flesh and I knew it. It was bothering me that I had no control of how things would end up. Then I remembered something that Oprah once said that has stuck with me over the years. She said “When you don’t know what to do, do nothing.” So I did nothing. I stopped talking about it to everyone except God. The I began to do a heart check and self-examination. I asked God in prayer to reveal to me what, if anything, I’d done wrong in the situation and to forgive me for my thoughts of revenge, my anger, and my resentment that was steadily building up. I asked God to remove those parts of me that still wanted to get even and allow me to be free from the situation.

“For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly father will also forgive you.” -Matthew 6:14 NIV

The next morning, I got a notification from a Christian App I follow that read “People may try but they cannot stop God’s plan for you. Remain focused and diligent. He will take care of the rest”. Proverbs 19:21. If that wasn’t confirmation enough the very next day a notification came up which said “When it’s all said and done, your fate is not in the hands of people. It is in the hands of people it is in the hands of God. Trust him more! “Psalm 31:15

It was right then that I thanked God for being a good of another chance over and over. I even answered my own question on how you forgive and guard your heart in the process. How can I not forgive a person when I do things probably every day that aren’t right and want forgiveness for. As far as letting them back in, forgiveness doesn’t mean that things will always be the same. Sometimes, you have to love folks from a distance and that guarding your heart means just that. Not putting people on a pedestal because people will always disappoint you, but to always walk with the love of GOD in every situation remembering that we all have fallen short and all need grace.

Keeping Your Faith In Christ

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(1)“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. (11) By faith Sarah herself also received strength to conceive seed, and she bore a child when she was past the age, because she judged Him faithful who had promised.

Hebrews 11:1, 11 (NKJV)

Oftentimes, we face trials, tests and tribulations in our daily lives. We are reminded by John 16:33 (“These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.”) that we will experience these things in life. Through it all, we must press forth and be vigilant in our walk with God. It’s much to look forward to when you are moving forward in Christ. There is more we can do during those trying times and that’s keeping the faith in the Savior.

So, what is faith?

Faith is defined in Hebrews 11:1, “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”. Faith is believing even when it is not visible to the eye. Faith in God is being obedient to Him and our obedience is the outcome of having faith. We lean and depend on God who is in control in every aspect of our lives. If you read further into Hebrews 11, it highlights many men and women of faith. Some people may reference this chapter as the heroes of faith or the hall of faith. Sarah is among these faith heroes. She was known in the bible as a faithful woman but with faults. She and her husband Abraham were promised nations. Their seed would be blessed and highly favored for all generations. To be told at an age after your child bearing years that you would be the mother of nations, you may feel skeptical. Even when it seems impossible, we must trust God with the impossible. We can be certain that God’s promises will come to pass; we are only to be faithful. By faith, Sarah conceived Isaac in her old age because she trusted His promise to her.

My birth story is somewhat like Sarah’s. I am no where near the age that she was when she first gave birth, but my husband and I faced challenges to conceive. It was discouraging that we could not conceive right away but we did not doubt God and his promise. During that season, we prayed and sought God and even medical advice. Sixteen months and a myomectomy later, we were able to conceive our son. We praise God that He answered our prayers, not in our time, but in His.

Assurance and Expectation

There are two sides to our faith, assurance and expectation. We are assured by what we hope for and expect what we hope for that are unseen. Dr. Tony Evans gives this great illustration of faith. Can you imagine watching a 3D movie without those 3D glasses? The movie is altered no matter where you sit or how you turn your head. You must wear those glasses to see that movie. We are given those glasses prior to that movie to avoid the hassle of those distortions. Sadly, that is the problem of us having a distorted view. We see what we see, but we do not see all that there is to be seen. We need to have a divine frame of reference in order to see what is really going on.

Trusting God Anyhow

Faith in God helps us to cope with every season of life.

-Pastor Nicholas K. Derouen, Sr.

In this moment, you may be going through (as the older folks would say). Our faith is tested in different areas of our lives, but we must trust Him and believe that it is all in His hands. He has promised us that he will never leave us nor forsake us (Hebrews 13: 5). Keeping the faith requires remembering what brought us to faith in the first place. Faith in God helps us to cope with every season of life. If we reflect on where God has brought us from, then we can trust that He will continue to bring us through. We have the victory in Jesus Christ!

Photo Credits: Unsplash

“Looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” (Hebrews 12:2)

Be encourage!

Rachel

If you see something in someone, speak it!

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“If you see something beautiful in someone, speak it.”

For whatever reason, the norm for many women is to look and not speak. A woman may pass by another woman with beautiful glowing chocolate skin or a head full of curly hair and think “Wow! She’s so beautiful,” and walk past her with barley a smile. Do you realize how much power you possess with your words alone? Enough to brighten someone else’s day in the midst of their storm.

As faith walkers, we are to allow the love of Christ to shine through us at all times. Being a Christian involves ministering to others beyond toting a bible or attending services once a week. It needs to be represented in our daily walk outside the four walls of the church. That smile of yours, compliment, or helping hand may be the only form of Christ a person may see.

So, whether it’s a compliment, a small gesture, or even a smile, don’t let the thought pass you by. I started to make it my point to slide in DMs, comment sections, or the scariest of them all, in person, to tell others about the beautiful things I see in them. It only takes a few seconds out of your day to express yourself to someone else. You may just save a life and better yet, a soul.

Increase Your Faith

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Hey there Freauxs,

We all can use a little boost to get us through the week.  I want to touch a little on the power of faith and how we should increase it to pull through the storms that come our way.

Often times we look at our situations and feel like we are not strong enough or intelligent enough to overcome them.  We compare ourselves to others and admire what they have, but have no earthly idea as to how they achieved it.  Everyone has those moments in life where their mind is full of doubt and they feel week-willed.  God puts so many opportunities in front of us on a day to day basis that we pass up assuming that they are not for us, even though our name is permanently engraved on it.

God has the final say and is in control of  His plan for you.  In the book of Judges, God sends an angel to speak to Gideon who tells him that the Lord will be with him and he will save Israel from the hands of the Midianites.  Gideon did not have faith in himself or God at the time that this would even come to pass.Judges Ch. 6:15: “So he said to Him, “O my Lord, how can I save Israel? Indeed my clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my father’s house.” 

We, as human beings in the flesh do not see and can never phantom what God has in store for us.  God can do the ultimate and the impossible.  All we need to do is have a little bit of faith and we will begin to see his works and wonders unravel before our eyes.  His plans are unknown to us, but God has laid out the stepping stones of our lives.  “A man’s heart plans his way, But the Lord directs his steps.” Proverbs 16:9

The Lord responded to Gideon in verse 16 by saying: “Surely I will be with you, and you shall defeat the Midianites as one man.”  We continually doubt God and what he is truly capable of because of our lack of faith.  When God puts us in a situation, whether it is on the job or at home, we must believe that we were put there for a reason and we WILL overcome through God and no one else.  God can place words in your mouth, ideas in your head, and guide you to places in your life that you never thought you would see.

This “season” that we are going through is just temporary.  We want to admire the things or the situations that others have, but have no idea as to how much pain and suffering, prayer, and above all, FAITH that person has to get where they are now.   One awesome thing about increasing your faith in God is that no one else will be able to see your struggle because you have cast all of your cares on Him.  To the world, you are at peace and have joy and can smile through your situation because you have faith that God has something great planned for you.

The rain in the storms we experience is very necessary for us to see the beauty in what lies ahead.  In order for beautiful things like flowers, trees, fruits and vegetables to grow, it has to rain first.  These plants need water grow and to flourish.  Our trials and tribulations are the water that helps us to grow into strong individuals that can conquer all things that come our way through prayer and fasting.  Have you ever seen a plant grow from dry land?  I’ll wait…  I always say that I am grateful for my storms because it gives me a story to tell to help others to push through their circumstances.  I hope this is a blessing to you no matter what you may be going through.  Keep your faith in God and everything else will prosper.  Let Him be your guide.

Have a blessed week and make each day great.

Favored Freauxs

Faith, Melanin, & Afros

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