“A woman who cuts her hair is about to change her life.”– Coco Chanel
So you just did the big chop. All of your hair is literally laying on the floor and you’re trying to figure out what in the world you just did and how you can reattach your hair back to your scalp.
This is the biggest step in a natural girl’s hair journey…the first step.
After recently making my 5 year natural hair anniversary on December 3rd, I decided to make the decision to cut off all of my hair…again. I’ve chopped off my hair several times during this journey with ease. This time it wasn’t for style purposes or because I was obsessed with the many Instagram short hair “badies”, but for health reasons. I was recently diagnosed with a disease that I’ll get more in depth about in another post. Sadly, one of the many side effects was hair loss and lots of it. One day while finger detangling in the shower, I noticed that globs of my curls were entangled in my fingers. Just barley sliding my fingers through my hair allowed for so many strands to fall as if they were hanging on for dear life and were finally being released. The shower floor was filled with my precious curls floating in the water. At that moment, there were so many emotions running through my head. This was prior to my diagnosis and I had no clue what I could have done wrong.
I decided to cover up my hair by using wigs. I also picked up some Jamaican black castor oil and Biotin pills. I stepped up my hair regimen with hot oil treatments and frequent deep conditioning sessions, but nothing seemed to work. I wanted to wear my hair out with confidence. I was tired of wearing wigs or adding hair to my buns to make myself look presentable. I even tried to go out with my natural hair and felt so low and unattractive. My edges were no longer thick but almost non existent in my eyes. I had bald spots in the front of my hair and in my crown that I would constantly cover up. I didn’t feel like myself anymore. Although I knew that I was beautiful, I didn’t have the same confidence I once had while standing in front of a mirror.
One morning, getting ready for work in the mirror as I placed my wig on my head for the umpteenth time, I decided that I wanted to cut ALL of my hair off. I knew that I could rock it and I needed a change. I wanted to walk in confidence and pride. I know you’re probably thinking why would anyone cut off their hair at this time of year? I’m the type of person that wants what she wants when she wants it. I literally made an appointment with a barber that day and as soon as I got off from work, I was in the chair with no turning back.
As soon as I got in the car to go home, I had to have taken a million selfies. I posted a picture on social media and there was so much love from friends, family, and people I didn’t even know. I was told that I was bold, fearless, and inspirational. I finally felt like myself again.
Something that I have come to learn with every big chop that I have gone through is that it is so much more than just the act of cutting off your hair. Doing a big chop is about liberating yourself. Society has taught us over the years that there is a specific type of beauty and most of us don’t even fit in that cookie cutter shape. We were taught when we were younger that long and straight hair was the definition of beauty along with certain skin tones and the size of your waistline. When I cut my hair off, so much of my inner beauty and confidence was revealed that I never knew I even had. I realized that I depended entirely too much on my hair and how those strands controlled how I felt each day. If I was having a bad hair day, I was having a bad day period. My hair should not define who I am or how beautiful I look to others, let alone myself. I am so much more than my hair. I started learning more about other features that I never took the time out to acknowledge like my freckles on my left cheek and my beauty mark on my upper lip, my endearing smile, and sultry eyes that could tell a story words just can’t describe. I learned more about my personality and my love for knowledge, literature, art, and of course hair. I learned most of all to accept myself for who I am and focus on being the best version of myself daily.
Let me know when you did your first big chop and how it made you feel. If your thinking about doing the big chop, what are your thoughts about it? What is stopping you from doing it?