“I want the great masses of my people to take a greater pride in their personal appearance and to give their hair proper attention.”—Madam C.J. Walker
Photo by Nick Owuor (astro.nic.visuals) on Unsplash
Every natural knows that once they have found that one product line, there is no reason to look any further. Some of these natural hair brands are among the list I have complied down below. But before I get into all of the product love, let us first honor a woman who was also a girl boss in her time. This woman set the foundation for many of us, whether in business or not. Her name is none other than Madam C.J. Walker. She was the first American woman to become a self-made millionaire. When she began experiencing issues with hair loss, she began dabbling in different recipes to help aide this issue. She founded her own business and began selling Madam Walker’s Wonderful Hair Grower, a scalp conditioning and healing formula, which she claimed had been revealed to her in a dream. She was a trailblazer and continue to impact us in the 21st century.
Madam C.J. Walker paved the way for the business women I have spotlighted. They are innovators, inventors, creators, chemists, CEO’s and girl bosses of our time. They are the women behind some of our favorite natural hair brands. I took the liberty of adding their websites to this post for your convenience. (Side-note: This is a small list and was not created in any particular order.)
This short list of powerhouse brands shows us that black women have so much power and can conquer anything they set their minds to. They’re taking over the isles next to big brands in major stores and making moves. Why? Because they can! It’s just that simple. The natural hair industry continues to grow, helping us to embrace our curly , coily, kinky crowns and we’re definitely here for it. Who would you add to the list?
Let us know who else is impacting the natural hair community!
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Preserving friendships when you barely text back can be a real struggle. We all have that one friend or maybe we are that one friend who just can’t get it together when it comes to staying in touch and maintaining the relationship. I will admit, I am that one friend.
In today’s society, communication is on a different level. Our social interactions are met through technology rather than physical interaction. Meeting face to face has been replaced with a few double taps and an occasional emoji on a friend’s picture on our timeline. We find out about hospital visits, engagements, and childbirths all by scrolling on our Facebook and tapping through Instagram Stories.
Whatever happened to picking up the phone to call or meeting up with your best friend for lunch? I can admit that I’m definitely not the best when it comes to texting back and I avoid phone calls like the plague. I guess it’s the introvert in me, Trust me, it’s nothing personal but I’m sure not everyone else takes it that way. So, here’s a few things that I’ve come to realize I must put into action in order to preserve my beloved friendships…all three of them.
Be honest with the people you value
Some of those that are close to you may think that you’re “acting funny,” but maybe you’ve been going through something or have been in a bit of a funk. Be honest with your friends. You’ll be surprised to find just how much more you have in common when you share your truths with each other. There was a time not long ago when a friend of mine apologized for being distant because of some things she was going through. It was funny because, I felt like I was the one being distant because of my current situation. We were then able to encourage one another and choose joy together rather than sulking alone in our own mess.
Pencil them in
Set a day to call and text your close friends and family members and even new associates that have the potential of being good friends. I’ve come to an understanding that if I can schedule other things in my life that are important to me, I should be able to do the same when it comes to the relationships I value in my life. You can’t always be on the receiving end. All actions need to be reciprocated in order for the friendship to bloom. Doing this shows that you value these people and that you’re consistent. They’ll definitely receive your efforts and see that you value the friendship.
Don’t be a flake
When you set up a date to hang out don’t back out. As an introvert, I usually don’t like to get out for much besides work and the grocery store only out of necessity. There are times when I make plans, but just don’t want to go when the time comes around. Canceling plans at the last minute or even going as far standing up your friend is no Bueno. This can hurt their feelings and leave them feeling that you’re unreliable and that you do not value their time. Don’t be a flake. Stick to your word and if you really have a legitimate reason as to why you can make it, let them know. A true friend will understand.
Write a letter to express how much you care
Do you remember the days when we use to pass notes in class folded like origami? I still have mine from a boy named Jerome back in 9th grade. lol! If you remember those notes, then you remember just how special they made you feel to receive them just because. It would be from a friend telling you how cute your hair is today or a boy telling you how much he likes you. Either way, you felt amazing that day all because of a few words on paper. Go ahead and take it way back and write your close friends a few lines letting them know how dope they are. You can send it through text, snail mail, or an email. You’d be surprised how something so simple can make someone’s day.
Offer them help
Sometimes our friends just need a helping hand. It can be difficult to go about the normal day to day tasks and keep our sanity. Offer to baby sit to give them a break for some me time or a date night. Come over and cook a meal or bring extra of something that you’ve already prepared. Set up a day to help your bestie to organize a room in their home. Wherever you see that your friend may need a little assistance, offer it to them. They may not ask, but they’ll appreciate it more than you’ll ever know.
What are some ways you find yourself preserving friendships that you value in your life? Leave a comment and share below. I’d love to hear from you!
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I was leaving the South to fling myself into the unknown . . . I was taking a part of the South to transplant in alien soil, to see if it could grow differently, if it could drink of new and cool rains, bend in strange winds, respond to the warmth of other suns and, perhaps, to bloom-Richard Wright, Author
Happy Black History Month fam! As we continue our Black History Celebration, I cannot help but feel more empowered as I reflect on our history. Let us give consideration to the monumental period that was “The Black Migration”. The Association for the Study of African American Life and History (ASALH) has provided us with this year’s theme. Their website was created to continue and honor the legacy of the father of Black History, Dr. Carter G. Woodson (check it out!).
This epic event occurred during the 20th century, when many of our African American families intentionally LEFT the south for the north, thereby seizing the opportunity to live peacefully and thrive industriously. With this in mind, I cannot help but reiterate Maya Angelou’s profound quote “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant”.
Despite African Americans being FREE, by virtue of the Emancipation Proclamation (January 1, 1863) and the Confederate South’s defeat in the American Civil War (1861-1865), they were not FREE. That’s right, they were Free in theory, but not in practice. W.E.B Du Bois captured that reality by saying, “The slave went free; stood a brief moment in the sun; then moved back again toward slavery.” The intense backlash(whitelash) against “FREED” African Americans was another dark chapter in American History. Because of the lack of employment, housing, and harsh segregation laws, many African Americans traveled from the south to the north to escape the hatred that they continued to suffer. Not to mention terrorism of the Ku Klux Klan, lynching, and the rise of the 13th Amendment, which allowed slavery to exist in prisons. What did Blacks do? How would they respond? One of the many words to describe the response of Blacks is EXODUS.
Between 1915 and 1970, six million African Americans left the south to cities like Chicago, New York, Cleveland, and Detroit. Their great exodus was the beginning of a great transition. It was a visual display of taking freedom by any means necessary. The Black Migration produced many great names such as Langston Hughes and Zora Neale Hurston.
Repeating History
“If it had not been the Lord who was on our side,” Let Israel now say”—(Psalm 124:1)
As I ponder on this historical time, The Black Migration reminds me of the Israelites’ great exodus (Exodus 14:15-31). They too were made slaves and forced into bondage against their will. Through faith in Almighty God, the Israelites LEFT Egypt in pursuit of the land of milk and honey (Canaan). They stepped out on faith in God. Our ancestors stepped out on faith in God too by leaving the South for the North. In the words of the hymnologist, “We’ve come this far by faith.”
It Is Closer To Home Than You May Think
Our parents, grandparents, great-grandparents and other relatives lived during this time period. They may have experienced the great exodus from the south to the north. Does that alarm you to know that our history is not so long ago? What stories have your family shared with you? Share your thoughts with me.
Rachel
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Hey, Girlfriend in Christ! Does your dating life need a little boost? Have you and your significant other put the dating game on the shelf because you’ve run out of ideas? Who said that date night had to be the same ole tired dinner and a movie anyway? Certainly not Jesus. Whether you’re married or single and ready to mingle, YOU SHOULD BE DATING! And if you don’t have a person to go out with then dust off that black dress and take yourself on a date, girl! Yes ma’am, being saved is not synonymous with being dull. So, in the spirit of love month, I thought I’d share a few date ideas that may just make get those wheels turning in your head.
Laugh Together
If you’re anything like me, then getting a good belly laugh will put you in a great mood. Why not catch a comedy show for date night with your significant other? If you’re single, you might just bump into a man of God while you’re out enjoying yourself! Check your city listings for a comedy club in the area. If there’s nothing going on in your area, save those coins and make it a night in by watching some stand up comedy on Netflix with all your favorite snack essentials!
Play together
We tend to think immediately about kids when you hear indoor sports and play. However, there any many adult indoor sporting parks that you can enjoy all the fun things you did as a kid and some new things too! For example, Boomerang Air Sports offers obstacle courses, skating, zip lining, and inflatables for adults and kids. You can also go bowling, try a game of miniature golf, and even lazer tag to bring out the kid in you. Make it a night in and pull out some board games or card games that the two of you can play together. Take some time to forget about “adulting” for a night and have fun!
Sip Together
If you and your special someone enjoy wine, then consider doing a wine tasting. Find a winery near you or a restaurant nearby. You can also take a tour of a local brewery and find out what the process is to make a good beer and get a taste for free. Make sure to drink responsibly and don’t forget to have an Uber on standby to ensure you get home safely!
Escape together
Are you competitive and like solving puzzles? Why not try going to an Escape room. Most cities now have an Escape Room or something similar where you must use clues and work together to get out. It will test your teamwork and trust for one another while having fun doing it!
Make dating an adventure with fun and exciting date nights starting now… after all its love month! What are some of the fun date idea that you’ve experienced? Share with us in the comments below!
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So, it’s Valentine’s Day and you have no significant other to spend it with this year. Your co-workers received deliveries of flowers and edible arrangements while you anticipated the 70% off sale on candy tomorrow. Scrolling down your timeline may have even triggered a lot of emotion as you thumbed through paragraphs of love stories and viewed pictures of all the couples on your friends list. Cue the violins and pass the ice cream girl. I feel you.
I know that navigating through today may have been pretty difficult for those of you who may not have someone to celebrate with, but why do we feel the need to be in a relationship in order to feel loved? Your happiness and well being should never depend on whether or not you receive flowers and candy one day a year. If that’s the case, we’re all doing something wrong here. It’s the heart’s desire to feel all the “feels” on this day, but we have a greater love in our creator. With God, you’ll never have to question your purpose in the relationship. It’s already been written. You won’t ever feel like a side piece or even a snack. Girl, we are full course meals around here!
Because of lack of self-worth and the pressures of social media, we can easily find ourselves in situations that may be compromising in order to feel an ounce of love or what we think love might feel like. With God, you’ll never have to question your actions or see yourself in a compromising situation to receive what He has for you. He loves every inch of you exactly where you are right now in this moment. Now that’s love sis…pure, unadulterated, love. This is the kind of love that you can’t find in man. “This is love: not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.”-1 John 4:10
I need you to know that you are loved and will always be loved by God. He loved you first. His love is everlasting no matter your relationship status. His love is never complicated. Your status with God will never change. Your place in His heart will always be reserved. It’s worth so much more than any reservation you could ever make one day a year. You are a daughter of the king and nothing less. “And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.”1 John 4:16
Rest in believing in these words and know that one day will not remove the lifetime investment of your heart in God’s hands. One day can never define your value to yourself or others. One day will not determine your worth. You are loved. You are enough. You are whole just as you are. No one else can complete you. God already did that when you broke the mold.
Happy Valentine’s day my friend.
xoxo
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Photo Credit: Unsplash “Great marriages don’t happen by luck or by accident. They are the result of a consistent investment of time, thoughtfulness, forgiveness, affection, prayer, mutual respect, and a rock-solid commitment between a husband and a wife.” – Dave Willis
Marriage is life changing. Marriage is an adjustment. Marriage is also a beautiful union between a man and a woman. It takes work and patience with someone you vowed a lifetime commitment to. There is so much to learn from each other during that process.
Like many newly weds, I am certain you have and will receive an outpour of advice from both family members and friends, but keeping God at the center of your marriage is primary. My husband and I discussed what we learned in the first year of marriage. I can tell you there was much to learn and much more to take in. We would not exchange this beautiful journey with anything.
Here are five tips you should keep in mind now that you are married.
1. Pray Together, Pray for Each Other.
Prayer is essential in every relationship in life, especially your marriage. “Talking to God about your husband is an act of love”–Stormie Omartian. Praying for your husband helps strengthen a foundation, creates unity and keeps peace in your home. Be specific in your prayer and keep your spouse lifted daily.
2. Respect One Another
“Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband” (Ephesians 5:33 NKJV). Respect is one of the most important aspects for man to have. Study show that being respected is even more important than being loved by their wife.
3. Be Patient With Each Other
Patience is a virtue we all should possess. The two of you have now become one but there are still two different personalities present. Be patient with each other as you both grow in your new season of togetherness. Show grace to one another.
4. Learn Each Other’s Love Language
According to Gary Chapman’s book, The 5 Love Languages, we all have primary love languages that help us connect. A love language tells us how we like to be loved. Knowing your own and your husband’s language of love would help deeper connect with each other.
5. Cultivate and create a loving home.
Your home is your sanctuary. This is a place where a lot of things happen. You live, play and eat here. Make every effort to cultivate and create a home with love. Bless your home and pray God’s protection over it.
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Since birth, my little one has had hair. I mean, a head full of hair. I really did not expect anything less. He is my kid. So since then, I have always been mindful of the way I care for his hair. As normal, his hair has changed texture and is now even more curly. His mane also has different textures which
is also common for naturals. Nicholas is now one and instead of the traditional “one year old hair cut”, I have decided to allow his hair to flourish as it may. My husband and I agreed that it will be cut when Nicholas wants it cut.
One thing I consistently do during Nicolas’ wash day is doing so during his bath time. He gives me no trouble washing his hair. If he is playing, then I am free to tackle his mane.
I have been using SheaMoisture’s baby products. A lot of our favorite natural hair lines are now providing a children’s collection. Mielle is among the products I love to use as well.
RadTip: Handle your child’s hair the way you care for your own natural hair. I try my best to avoid using a comb during shampooing. This can cause unnecessary breakage and we do not want that. Try using your fingers to gently detangle your child’s mane while it’s still wet. They’ll thank you for it.
After shampooing, I then condition his hair. SheaMoisture has a leave in conditioner that works well with his curly hair. I take this time to finger detangle or use a wide tooth comb. Depending on what day it is determines how I style his hair. If it’s a school night, I tend to braid or twist. If it is a Sunday morning I like to finger coil his hair. For this particular wash, I did two strand twists.
RadTip: If you have an active toddler, make sure he is distracted with play. I have no trouble washing and styling while he is enjoying bath time with his favorite toys.
I hope these few tips were helpful to you! What tips and tricks do you implement on your children’s wash days?
By now, I’m certain you have read several reviews and have most likely watched this anticipated film already for yourself. By the title, you should know that I am referring to “Nappily Ever After” (on Netflix). This movie turned book titled, Nappily Ever After by Trisha R. Thomas, was instantly placed on my favorites list. I have watched this film twice you guys…two and a half to be exact. The first time was for my enjoyment and the second was for content purposes (but I still fully enjoyed it). I began my third time viewing but I only got half way through.
If there has ever been a movie that all women could identify with, it would be “Nappily Ever After.” Specifically, African American women can allow this movie to resonate on some level. Even more specifically, it has had a positive impact on the natural hair community for many obvious reasons.
“Nappily Ever After” is relatable to women who have experienced the bondage by the need to be perfect and view straight hair to be the golden ticket to elevation and privilege. This film sheds light on the relationship we have with our hair, our mothers (or parents), with our significant others and how we even view ourselves.
Photo: Unsplash
Sanaa Lathan has already shown us via social media, how to fiercely love ourselves and embrace our natural beauty simply by embracing her own. Most recently, Sanaa shaved her head or as the natural hair community would say, she did the Big Chop as an essential part of the movie for the role she played as Violet or Vi as called by her close friends and family. Sanaa received an outpouring of love and aspiration from women all over who are or have been on the same journey with their natural hair and sef-exceptance. She is just as beautiful now as she was before this defining moment and looks absolutely gorgeous.
In “Nappily Ever After,” Sanaa’s character, Violet sets her path of self-discovery after a romantic setback. Though, that decision to cut off all of her hair was a pivotal moment in her life, she was no longer treated or looked at the same by men or women alike (her mother especially). You can imagine the surprising shock she had after shaving her head in her emotional, drunken state. It wasn’t until she began accepting her true self that she was able to live freely without approval from others. If you noticed Violet’s hair was already natural or chemical free from the beginning. From childhood, her mother hot combed her hair and even maintained the upkeep of her tresses as an adult by flat ironing it periodically. P. S. love Lynn Whitfield by the way who plays her mother! She is always playing somebody’s momma on television and the big screen. Violet did not actually embrace being natural although her hair was not relaxed. There is so much more I can say! I will not give all the deets in the movie because I want you to enjoy it.
So here are some of my thoughts that were influenced by Nappily Ever After. “Zoe, don’t ever let someone’s negative opinion of you become your reality.”
In the words of my big sister (in my head) India Arie, “I am not my hair. I am not this skin. I am the soul that lives within.” If I had to give this movie a theme song, this would be it. I absolutely love this movie.! Violet reminds us that there is more to us than what is on the outside. Shaving her head was only a turning point that lead her on a path of self-love and self-discovery. One of my favorite quotes from the movie that Violet says to Zoe was, “Don’t ever let someone’s negative opinion of you become your reality”. Can I say that one again? Don’t ever let someone’s negative opinion of you become your reality. NEVER. People will have their opinions and they are entitled to them. We must decide whether to receive their negativity or disregard it. We are often complimented on our looks before our intelligence as if physical features are dominant over our minds.
Telling us we are pretty for a black girl is far from being a compliment. Women of color have been oversexualized and overlooked from the time of slavery. Our bodies and features have been objectified by even our own people. Today, there are so many beautiful brown skinned women promoting positive images of women of color that our little girls can look up to. They need to know that they are more than their hair and body. Women need to be reminded of this also. God created us all fearfully and wonderfully in His image. As much as I love having natural hair, I know that it is a part a me and not who I am as a whole person. Beauty is not defined by our physical features. Who we are and how we treat others exudes true beauty. Our beauty and our hair are to complement our natural essence, not to become a mask hiding who we are.
So, have you seen Nappily Ever After yet? Share your thoughts in the comment section below!
(Disclaimer): I recommend this movie to my sisters. It is so empowering and funny. But if you are viewing with your little sisters, be cautious of a few adult scenes.
Rachel
Looking for an encouraging reminder of who you are in Christ, click here for my latest blog on Favored Freauxs Blog.
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Prayer: “A solemn request for help or expression of thanks addressed to God or an object of worship.” – Merriam Webster Dictionary
For many Christians, over the years, praying has become a very monotonous formality that seems to happen at the same time every day using the same exact verbiage each time. Many of us grew up in the church with praying parents or even a praying grandmother that made sure we sent up a few prayers in their presence despite how we felt about it. As adults now, we’ve either given it up all together or dread repeating the same old solemn requests to the man upstairs.
As I’ve transitioned in my faith over the span of my adulthood, I’ve learned that the “Our Father prayer” or the very words that spewed out of my parent’s mouths in my childhood are not the end all be all when it comes to my personal prayer life. I’ve come to learn that prayer is a direct form of communication with God. He hears our prayers and He hears our cries. He also speaks to us through our prayers. You see, I never thought of it as a means of communication like sending an email or making a phone call to God. I just viewed prayer as something that had to be done as part of the requirements of being saved, sanctified, and Holy Ghost filled along side speaking in tongues, which I remember being taught to do in Sunday school and it still confuses me to this day.
Photo Credit: Unsplash
Lines of Communication
The thing with communication is that it’s a two way street. You don’t send out an email to someone without expecting them to respond. You also don’t hold a phone conversation without allowing the other person ample time to speak in response to what you’ve spoken. These same expectations apply when you sit in prayer with the Almighty Father. On top of all of this, allow God the space to give His response. Prayer is not only a time to talk, but a time to listen as well. The Lord knows the desires of our hearts. He knows what our needs are. We must take the time to sit in silence and listen for His voice. How can you expect to hear from Him if you don’t give yourself a chance to breath and sit in silence?“And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words.”-Matthew 6:7
Listening for God’s voice allows Him to reveal to you his vision and desires for you. He begins to birth a purpose inside of you that you never could have imagined. He uncovers the blueprint to reach higher heights and deeper depths in your life and the lives of others.
Pray without ceasing
“Rejoice always, pray without ceasing in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”-1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
Praying without ceasing does not mean that you must be on your knees with your eyes closed at all times speaking to God. It simply means that you are constantly keeping your mind steadfast on Him. Don’t look at prayer as such a strict or uptight form of speaking to our creator. Talk to God in actual conversation as you would your father on earth or close friend you’re having coffee with. Involve Him in your everyday practices. Speak to Him about your struggles. Reveal to Him your innermost thoughts. Praying without ceasing should be compared to living and breathing. The two go hand in hand and are necessary for your survival. If ever worry or fear comes upon you, prayer should be the first thing that comes to mind. When you are thankful, encouraged, or going through a storm, prayer should be constant.
Prayer can be a small “Thank you Lord,” to a full out session of worship and praise, eyes closed and body bent. Prayer is a way to show that you put all of your trust in God at all times with all situations. When you pray you are letting God know that you place your life in His hands and that all is well with Him. When you start to pray less, you begin to put more trust in yourself which can lead you astray.
What does your prayer life look like? Have you Communicated with God lately? He’s patiently waiting for you and excited to hear from you, His child. So, get comfortable and pick up that line of communication today. You’ll be surprised at what you hear on the other end.
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Before you had any thoughts of who you were, God knew exactly who you were and has already foreseen who you will become. The defining factor(s) of our identity is knowing what God knows and what He says about us in his living word. Knowing what He knows is the first step. Accepting what He says is what we must hold on to. We have a way of hearing God (through His word) and then questioning it. God’s word is true, and we can trust Him at his every word. If we knew who we were, we would behave differently. When I say “behave”, I mean, think, live, and how we treat others. Knowing and trusting the word of God, helps build our confidence in Him which affects our self-confidence. We can find in the bible several scriptures of God admiring who he created us to be.
Before you were even formed in your mother’s womb, God knew you. He knew you were and who you are today. Our God is infinite in all of His ways even if we cannot grasp what He thinks about us. If we look deep enough in scripture, He explicitly and sometimes not as clear, tells who we are to Him. Can I share with you His sentiments?
Look at what it says in 1 Peter 2:9…It tells us who we are:”But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.” -1 Peter 2:9 NKJV
Who are you?
God says that you are chosen. You were chosen by Him. Even before you were in your mother’s womb, you were on the mind of God. Sis, you were chosen and were chosen to do the will of God. You are royal, sis. You are a royal priesthood. If we are his children, then we are heirs of God and joint heirs with Jesus Christ. What else does it say? We are a holy nation. We are called to be set apart. We should be holy because God is holy (1 Peter 1:16) Finally it says in 1 Peter, we are God’s possession. We are His people. We were created in His own image (Genesis 1:27). We must know who we are, but to know who we are, we must know who God is. How do we discover who we are? We discover this by spending time with God and reading his word.”Saturate your mind with the truth of God’s Word. It’s filled with reminders of His unconditional love for you.” – Joyce Meyers
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